Jacked Up
by MephisLee

Its 6:10 pm and I'm on the way to dinner at a friends place with two friends X from Taiwan, and Y from Indonesia. I forget the topic of our conversation, but all of a sudden, I'm jolted from my thoughts of how screwed up the weather in Wichita is by X proclaiming " I'm Caucasian, didn't u know?" At first I thought this was some attempt at a joke gone terribly wrong,but when I glanced at X ,I was surprised to see a look of grim determination. She was braced to defend this fact, the way Jehovah's Witnesses defend whatever is written in their annoying little pamphlets. Here's how it went:

MephisLee: "X!! You've got to be fucking kidding me! Your so Chinese I could blindfold you with dental floss!"

X:(In a fakeass American-Midwestern drawl) "Seriously-I'm caucasian because I like White guys-I date them.

ML: *In relief* Oh...your an idiot.Whew! I thought you actually believed your RACE was Caucasian, or at least some Aryan Nation type belief.

X:*with emphasis* I date only white guys. They're really cute.Never African Americans though.

ML: *rolling eyes* What if its a European White guy who speaks crap english with a Scandanavian accent, and isn't cute in the "All American Guy" way?

X: Eh? wazzat?

ML: Fuck that,nevermind. Why not African Americans? Have you ever dat-

X: -man AAs are are nasty, all they think of is "one thing"

At this point, Y from indonesia, who has remained ominously silent at this obvious affront on our sanity, interjects, and I know my day is on the verge of getting really JACKED UP.

Y: yah, don't u know about how all AA males just wanna get with "Azn" chicks?

X: Yes! AAs are obsessed with Azn chicks because Azns are prejudiced towards them due to negative stereotyping in the Mass Media.Basically they want what they can't get. *snigger* *snort*snort*

ML: ...so ur aware of the reason behind it, but wh-

X: *raising her voice* They're nasty. This one time,*launches into American Girl gossip tone* I was in the airport and this AA guy asked me how old I am, I said "19" he said he's 25 and added "Am I old enough for you?". I mean, what a retard!!Thats sick and nasty, ewww!!

ML: ..so, erm..Have you ever dated one?

X: *jamming on the brakes and swerving car* Are you CRAZY?? Ewwww! Never!I've had too many bad experiences to actually consider dating one.They're nasty.

Now here comes the fucked up part.

ML: I've never had a friend who was so openly prejudiced. Thats cool, X, I admire that.

X: yah, they're really nasty

Y: This one time I-

X: *turns up volume and drowns Y's comment to oblivion* I love this song!! Usher is soo hot! *Singing* " Let it burn, Let it burn"*forgets lines, mumbles*

I'm sitting there in my seat wondering why I feel so drained and defeated. Oh wait a minute, I'm feeling that way because thanks to some sick means of human programming, I actually admire X's ability to state her prejudice with no remorse whatsoever.My brain is spinning. Do I actually admire blatant ignorance and abject stupidity on a deeper level? Did I consider this person, who put her prejudice towards AAs right in the open, in front of me, a perceived black person, my friend?How could she be so insensitive? Does ignornace precede stupidity,or do they go hand in hand?
I still don't know the answers to these questions, but one thing was for sure. My day was JACKED UP. I don't know what "jacked up" means exactly, but its certainly fits the feeling the rest of the day had. I suppose the "American Dictionary of Contemporary Slang(soon to be incorporated into Websters as a genuine source for reference of proper English) would define it as:

Jacked Up \'jak-ed 'ep\ v:1 to be totally fucked beyond reasonable doubt 2: an inconvinient situation e.g- "Dat nigga come from one real jacked up hood"

I'm still confused about everything,and my confusion is the most worrying part! I uncounciously put myself at odds with...well, myself. When my buddy rZedent asked "So, have you deleted her yet", I was caught unawares. The kinda thought that makes a bad guy in the movies stop dead in his tracks and ask his henchmen" Wait a minute? Why didn't I rape AND kill *insert hero's* entire family?Lets go back and finish it up."

I blame this on America.

Season of WanderLust
by MephisLee
It has to do with seasons, these proclivities to wander with reckless abondon, both in body and spirit. The proximity of Fall is suspect. If there was a demon that periodically possesed me, it would be named WanderLust. It would come as the winds grow cold and the flowers droop,shedding tears of petals,their dance over for the season. I remember how I wished to write about Spring, but couldn't bring myself to express the freshness and genesis of multicolored beaty around me.Har har True, it was beauty, but it didn't propell me in a primal sense. Fall does that. I am WanderLust. Do you ever feel it? The need to leave your home, during a particular season, for no good reason? Is it instinctive? I have no clue, but I feel it every year,at the same period...
Sit under a tree raining dying leaves,listen to the wind;hear the primitive foreboding in your soul.Its hair-raising and I would howl like a wolf, if I wasn't on campus, and passing students weren't wondering what the fuck I was doing playing buddah under a tree.