The Midnight Disease

Sitting in front of the screen, fingers poised over the keyboard-wondering....what to write?why write? What is there to express? Just do it...
Am I depressed? What makes me feel so empty? It could be the constant, daily depletion of my sex drive that blunts my desire for her-blunts, but doesn't rust it.Blunts my desire to be alpha-to lead to love, to reach for the stars. My unhealthy financial habits-never saving, always finding something to spend on-anticipation of my trip home rapidly diminishing with my bank account balance. How long will it take me to learn? I wish with all my heart that I could someday commit to a goal,and go for it-slave away, save my pennies and triumph over all odds,rise above the many blockades that litter every path I choose to pursue.
I frustrates me, makes me want to tear my hair out in rage and anguish, makes me want to torture myself, pull my fingernails out with pliers, smash my face into rough concrete walls-it makes me hate myself. The weakness-the pathetic soul unable to discipline itself-pulling itself down into a dreary, familiar hell. I hate this shit so much.
I know what I have to do. I know the path I have to take-the path of sacrifice, hardwork, tears, pain and smiles.Get out of this dark damp room-stop killing yourself-rise above the depression-write,write,write-write yourself back into the light. Early to bed, early to rise-meditate,read motivational books, reflect deeply on my life. Stretch, workout, eat healthy. Go back to work, work hard, never miss a class, study, keep up to date on your assignments and projects.Save money,invest money, read about money,grow.Love,love you parents, call your family and friends regularly-write letters-real letters,maintain your social circle. Stay away from drugs, alcohol,your penis. Go out there, meet women,sharpen you skills,travel,experience life, the people, find her, find you.
There you, go-feel much better don't you?