Party
Anyway,I'm at this party, at my apartment blocks. Walking into the dimly lit room ,my first reaction is one of irritation-those damn guys that crowd by the door of the party-permanently marking their territory as well as their status throughout the duration of the party. The closer you are to the door, the less involved you are in the party,and the less people want to talk to you because they assume you're about to leave the party at any moment. Not forgetting the fact that you entered the party ,greeted your buddies nearby and just stood there -more or less the same spot from which you entered.
I brush past them awkwardly saying hi, because they're all too damn close to me,and cursing under my breath, because the rest of the party has felt the blast of cold coming from the door opening,and everyone is simultaneously looking up to see if the new comer is hot and fuckable.
Before I opened the door, I was hot and fuckable in general.However, struggling through the near-impenetrable mass of dick had taken its toll on me, and I after saying "Hi-hows it going" for the 5th time in 3 seconds, I had built so much rapport, that I could have hosted my own damn party at the door. So I walk in,and almost on cue the DJ plays Sean Pauls "Get Busy" my track.How good can this get? I'm in the heart of the party, shaking hands, introducing and getting introduced. My elation rapidly turns to disgust when I realize that its a 9:1 ratio of males to females.For those of you wondering why I didn't notice it when I walked in ,the answer is simply that the few chicks present were 8s and 8 1/2s , which is a pretty damn high. Its also pretty damn rare to find two women remotely close in scale with a 5 mile radius-in Wichita anyway.So, I was basically blown away by their 8 1/2 scale hotness, whereas if I was to be blown away by an 8 in say....Malaysia- I'd have to be drunk on Everclear brewed from fermented marijuana and eating finger food laced with crack through my nostrils.
After making my sobering discovery, I retired to a seat next to the DJ, and began to consume copius amounts of spanish Sangria. To make matters worse- each 8 was accompanied by a relatively cool guy, which is to say he would never have been caught dead milling around the doorknob,like it was some loser-moth attracting lantern. I thought I'd simply get wasted, dance,you know- catch my own bit of fun,and call it an early night.Plus the chicks kept coming up to the poor DJ and requesting a billion songs.So I had the chance to be a bastard and divert some poon to my curiously conspicious poon-less week.Alas! the gods were not on my side that nite, mainly because they don't exist. The hosts also suddenly realized "Hey! this is our house!!Why the fuck have we been standing at the door since the party began? And what have those guys been doing in the bathroom for the past 2 hours?" Well the guys had been getting stoned off their asses in there, and the hosts weren't too pleased,because the refreshing rays of understanding that they were losers in their own home,were beginning to penetrate the lush forest of stupid lining their brains.
When everyone found out that there was some weed in the vincity, chaos reigned.Determined to get back at the naughty boys who covertly smoked marijuana,therefore in the hosts mind-giving them superhuman lady attracting abilities,or maybe just made the loser in you evaporate,the hosts produced their secret stash of weed, and invited all the 8s to their master bed room bathroom to indulge in some goodness.
Well, half an hour later- the dudes having the party at the door began to wonder where the chicks were-even before the dudes in the house party-yes, they are they are super-perceptive.
The situation became extremely tense and uncomfortable, partucularly for the dudes who were dancing. What would the next dude who came in think? Twenty-three drooling guys in a room watching two guys dance? Sounds suspiciously like a....B-boy event?
So, we joined forces and went to retrieve the women.When we finally drunkenly stumbled upon the bathroom door, the party-door boys took a liking to it and wanted to have another party right there.They had to be dissuaded by the threat of grievious hurt to their testicles.
One of the host opened the door a crack ,and said "hey guys,whats up! roll us a joint will you?",then slammed the door in our faces.Before we could register any shock, we caught sight of this mountain of J just sitting there on the sink screaming "Smoke me bitches!! Somebody-pleaseeee smoke me!!!" It was an emergency situation,and it was a good thing we had a
few skilled men present. In the guest bathroom, we reduced that mountain to atmosphere in minutes.Just as we finished we hear the chicks leaving the party-their panties intact,presumably. The host converge in the guest room door and commence to pound the fuck out of it not having an idea how many dudes are in there.Well, we push the door open, run amok in the house grabbing beer,flasks of sangria and other stuff we can abuse, and leave.Oh yeah, the DJ packs his stuff up and bounces as well. As we exit with the hosts foaming at the mouth and stumbling behind us screaming "Bastard Muthafuckas", we bump into this pretty young thing/whore from the local club who says "looks like the party's over", or something similarly obvious. We like to think that she at least gave them a good time.
On a totally unrelated note- Do you like the new font size, or is it too small?
Anyway,I'm at this party, at my apartment blocks. Walking into the dimly lit room ,my first reaction is one of irritation-those damn guys that crowd by the door of the party-permanently marking their territory as well as their status throughout the duration of the party. The closer you are to the door, the less involved you are in the party,and the less people want to talk to you because they assume you're about to leave the party at any moment. Not forgetting the fact that you entered the party ,greeted your buddies nearby and just stood there -more or less the same spot from which you entered.
I brush past them awkwardly saying hi, because they're all too damn close to me,and cursing under my breath, because the rest of the party has felt the blast of cold coming from the door opening,and everyone is simultaneously looking up to see if the new comer is hot and fuckable.
Before I opened the door, I was hot and fuckable in general.However, struggling through the near-impenetrable mass of dick had taken its toll on me, and I after saying "Hi-hows it going" for the 5th time in 3 seconds, I had built so much rapport, that I could have hosted my own damn party at the door. So I walk in,and almost on cue the DJ plays Sean Pauls "Get Busy" my track.How good can this get? I'm in the heart of the party, shaking hands, introducing and getting introduced. My elation rapidly turns to disgust when I realize that its a 9:1 ratio of males to females.For those of you wondering why I didn't notice it when I walked in ,the answer is simply that the few chicks present were 8s and 8 1/2s , which is a pretty damn high. Its also pretty damn rare to find two women remotely close in scale with a 5 mile radius-in Wichita anyway.So, I was basically blown away by their 8 1/2 scale hotness, whereas if I was to be blown away by an 8 in say....Malaysia- I'd have to be drunk on Everclear brewed from fermented marijuana and eating finger food laced with crack through my nostrils.
After making my sobering discovery, I retired to a seat next to the DJ, and began to consume copius amounts of spanish Sangria. To make matters worse- each 8 was accompanied by a relatively cool guy, which is to say he would never have been caught dead milling around the doorknob,like it was some loser-moth attracting lantern. I thought I'd simply get wasted, dance,you know- catch my own bit of fun,and call it an early night.Plus the chicks kept coming up to the poor DJ and requesting a billion songs.So I had the chance to be a bastard and divert some poon to my curiously conspicious poon-less week.Alas! the gods were not on my side that nite, mainly because they don't exist. The hosts also suddenly realized "Hey! this is our house!!Why the fuck have we been standing at the door since the party began? And what have those guys been doing in the bathroom for the past 2 hours?" Well the guys had been getting stoned off their asses in there, and the hosts weren't too pleased,because the refreshing rays of understanding that they were losers in their own home,were beginning to penetrate the lush forest of stupid lining their brains.
When everyone found out that there was some weed in the vincity, chaos reigned.Determined to get back at the naughty boys who covertly smoked marijuana,therefore in the hosts mind-giving them superhuman lady attracting abilities,or maybe just made the loser in you evaporate,the hosts produced their secret stash of weed, and invited all the 8s to their master bed room bathroom to indulge in some goodness.
Well, half an hour later- the dudes having the party at the door began to wonder where the chicks were-even before the dudes in the house party-yes, they are they are super-perceptive.
The situation became extremely tense and uncomfortable, partucularly for the dudes who were dancing. What would the next dude who came in think? Twenty-three drooling guys in a room watching two guys dance? Sounds suspiciously like a....B-boy event?
So, we joined forces and went to retrieve the women.When we finally drunkenly stumbled upon the bathroom door, the party-door boys took a liking to it and wanted to have another party right there.They had to be dissuaded by the threat of grievious hurt to their testicles.
One of the host opened the door a crack ,and said "hey guys,whats up! roll us a joint will you?",then slammed the door in our faces.Before we could register any shock, we caught sight of this mountain of J just sitting there on the sink screaming "Smoke me bitches!! Somebody-pleaseeee smoke me!!!" It was an emergency situation,and it was a good thing we had a
few skilled men present. In the guest bathroom, we reduced that mountain to atmosphere in minutes.Just as we finished we hear the chicks leaving the party-their panties intact,presumably. The host converge in the guest room door and commence to pound the fuck out of it not having an idea how many dudes are in there.Well, we push the door open, run amok in the house grabbing beer,flasks of sangria and other stuff we can abuse, and leave.Oh yeah, the DJ packs his stuff up and bounces as well. As we exit with the hosts foaming at the mouth and stumbling behind us screaming "Bastard Muthafuckas", we bump into this pretty young thing/whore from the local club who says "looks like the party's over", or something similarly obvious. We like to think that she at least gave them a good time.
On a totally unrelated note- Do you like the new font size, or is it too small?
posted by MephisLee @ 7:40 AM
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