" I need a dude with tha wickedest slam
a 1,2,3, holla man"
-Ms Thing

I watched the Beenie Man's video for the song "Dude' and its come to reinforce another blatant theory I stubbornly refuse to appretiate. Its the three second rule. If a hotass Jamaican chick can imply that a three second rule follower has the "wickedest slam",then there must be something seriously wrong with me. I fulfil the former part of the lyric,but the latter is an action that constantly eludes me.
Whats so difficult about getting up and approaching once you've decided that a woman is attractive and approachable? Nothing. Which is exactly why even the best Don Juans screw up basic approaches. I've lost count of the times I hesitated past the three second mark and found myself floundering in the deep septic pools of uncertainty and as wussiness.
I wish I was a Dancehall reggae star. That way I could belt out lyrics in paqua to a dancehall riddim that boun' to get all dem gyals gwan crazy for I an I.Speaking of dancehall reggae stars,Beenie man is a skinny bastard,yet he gets all the chicks,which means he follows the "1,2,3 holla" rule. This is the ultimate proof that anyman who follows the 3 second rule without fail will eventually become a skinny jamaican singer with loads of cash and a bright red mercedes convertible.