As the title goes...fueled by nostalgia...
My mum came down. It was weird,because I wasn't looking forward to seeing her,and when she came,I was glad to see her,but...something had changed. The dark hair with streaks of brown and gray...the deep penetrating eyes...they no longer aroused the familiar feelings of years gone by.My reaction was...neutral.
The mall was bustling with activity,and I felt the surge of excitement that encompasses me whenever I'm in busy places..malls,rush hour,a riot,college or concerts. I think about how things have changed...falling in step behind my mum,out of old habit,when she used to hold my hand and drag me throught the bowels of the local market,Ariaria...walking infront of her at crowded intersections,reminiscient of the way she would push me ahead of her in such situations to keep her ever watchful eye on me. It never fully occured to me,but the has always been a syncronity to our relationship.An ingrained order that governed both of us when together.Despite all the time spent away from each other,the order prevails,undaunted by the threats of time,it continues along its path,modifying,erasing and rewriting to ensure that whatever happens,the balance remains.It has proven its existence time and time again...in my darkest hours,it comes through...like a vengeful wraith ,no material can hold it back.It fears no man,it caresses no woman,it feels nothing...it simply fulfills its purpose.
I imagine its mantra as it speeds through the veils of time and space..."Keep in sync", "Keep in sync"...or perhaps,a little more apt .."Syncronization is the key to Self-realization","Syncronization is the key to Self-realization". Does it perhaps teach a lesson? Is balance indeed the key? Could this be my lucky break?!! or is there no such thing as luck?...then again it hits me "How fine a balance?".Once again I am caught in limbo...a hyper puppy chasing its tail...
"JK!!!" Aiyooo,stop dreaming,lah!!" Not the words from her mouth,but echoes of a rebuking,already fading away to the recesses of my memory from whence it came. We're out of the mall and the cold hits my face,strong cold gusts of wind weathering my acne chisled features...I never fancied Wichita weather.
"Mummy, lets go back to your hotel"...the order swirls around my head entangling itself in my aura,fusing itself into my feelings...the thought nauseates me...but I can't beat it-I won't.Man versus syncronity.Result?Insanity.The wounds of of our old battle lie festering beneath my indifferent demeanor,and trust me...they f**king hurt like hell.